Connection has two forms, according to Martin Buber, and they are mutually exclusive. I-Thou and I-It.

We are either treating one another with respect and care, (I-Thou) or we are treating one another instrumentally as objects (I-It) to be used for some end, separate from the wellbeing of one aother. Buber points out that when we take an instrumental approach to another, we are necessarily taking an instrumental approach to ourselves as well!